The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone. But for those going through or having gone through a divorce, it can be even more painful and isolating. The holidays are supposed to be a joyful and family-oriented time, but for many people, the holidays are now different. If you are dealing with a difficult ex, or not going to be with your children over the holidays, it is a painful reminder that your family is not whole at the moment. This can cause feelings of despair or depression and even thoughts of suicide.

While many feel this way throughout their divorce, these feelings can escalate specifically during the holiday season. This is because all they see are happy families and couples making it a cruel reminder of where they are at the present moment. That is why we want you to know you are not alone. Not only is it not permanent, and that there are many women in the same circumstances, going through the exact same thing, but we have professionals here who can help you through it.

As a Solution Focused Therapist and Coach, I am here to assist you if you feel like the holidays are just too much to bear this time around. Please reach out to me, and we can work through it.

I would also like to share some tips on how you can get immediate help and help others if they are exhibiting signs of suicide.

  1. Here is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which is available 24 hours a day. Their number is: 1-800-273-8255
  2. Suicide warning signs include:
  • Talking about suicide
  • Seeking out lethal means
  • Preoccupation with death
  • No hope for the future
  • Self-loathing, self-hatred
  • Getting affairs in order
  • Saying goodbye
  • Withdrawing from others
  • Self-destructive behavior
  • Sudden sense of calm

If you are concerned about someone and recognize some of the warning signs, there are many things you can do to help. 

Ways to start a conversation about suicide:

  • “I have been feeling concerned about you lately.”
  • “Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing.”
  • “I wanted to check in with you because you haven’t seemed yourself lately.”

Questions you can ask:

  • “When did you begin feeling like this?”
  • “Did something happen to make you start feeling this way?”
  • “How can I best support you right now?”
  • “Have you thought about getting help?”

What you can say that helps:

  • “You are not alone in this. I’m here for you.”
  • “You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.”
  • “I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help.”
  • “When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold off for just one more day, hour, minute—whatever you can manage.”

I have written on this topic regarding feelings of hopelessness and depression during and after divorce. It has some helpful tips to help you get through this time:

Please reach out. We are a community that cares.

You are not alone.

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