The First Steps to Successful Couples Counseling
Couples often approach me by referring to how full of hope, desire, and excitement the early days of their relationship were and confused why things cannot go back to how they once were. These are often difficult questions to answer. Sometimes even if a couple is not currently happy, that does not mean that the relationship is forever lost.
Because every couple is unique, the answer that I often give clients is that even if your relationship does not ultimately last, counseling is often a great investment because it helps you learn more about yourself and what you want out of a relationship.
Many couples discover that couples counseling is a game changer. To start things off, following the initial assessment, couples complete a Gottman Relationship Checkup which provides a detailed understanding of a couple’s strengths and challenges. This test involves 480 questions about various aspects of a person’s life including conflict, emotions, friendship, intimacy, values, and trust. Feedback from this test also helps to provide detailed feedback and suggestions for a treatment plan.
Listening to Each Other is the Key to Couples Counseling
The key to any good couple counseling is the ability to listening and communicate effectively with your significant other. As part of couple’s therapy, we explore your attachment style (anxious, avoidant, or secure) and how your style may be affecting your relationship. This is because depending on your style, it can create obstacles to adequate communication that not just affect your current relationship, but sometimes suggest a pattern that you might carry into later relationships and that will also impact your relationship with family and friends.
Sometimes, a truth may be revealed at counseling that provides a new perspective on behaviors that you might not have been aware were occurring. Understanding the role that you might have played in a relationship occasionally leads to great self-awareness which can prompt some people to experience an “Aha!” moment.
Select a Couples Counselor that You Are Comfortable With
It is critical to select a counselor who has the necessary experience working with couples and who also is a good fit with you. Together we will explore your struggle and ask a variety of questions to determine the best way to respond. Some of the answers that will influence how we respond to matters include:
- Why are you seeking counseling and not last week, last month, or last year?
- Which person in the relationship decided to obtain a counselor?
- What is currently working in your relationship or marriage?
- What obstacles currently exist in your relationships or marriage?
- Are both you and your partner committed to resolving issues?
Speak with an Experienced Couples Counselor Today
As a couples counselor, I make every possible effort to understand your hopes and fears in your relationship. I understand that this is a challenging and difficult time for both you and your partner. While couples counseling is not always easy, I cannot stress to you enough that it is worth the required time and energy. Even in situations where just one person is committed to providing the effort, relationships can change for the better.
More than anything, though, I understand that in this difficult time you are searching for answers and peace of mind. If you are considering couples therapy, I urge you to contact me today by calling (917) 715 – 6583. You can also schedule an initial consultation by contacting me online at [email protected]