From young to mature, most couples experience relationship issues, at one time or another. The investment they both make and how they repair the rift in the relationship – is essential. In couples counseling, they can become the bridge the connects, not separates.
Relationships can be tricky and complicated at times. If we personally haven’t experienced it, we know someone who has or is currently struggling in their relationship. In the beginning of relationships, just being together is enough. But, as time marches on, our ability to communicate becomes increasingly difficult. Being let down, disappointed, having expectations, hurtful words and actions, finds couples at a crossroads in their marriage.
For many who want to work out their issues, communication has broken down and has come to stand still. Although couples complain – often – that they cannot communicate or don’t know how – they actually do communicate, but in unhealthy and often destructive ways that only fuels their disappointment rendering them more stuck than they initially were. And unfortunately, research indicates that couples wait on average 6 years before they seek couples counseling. A lot of damage can be done in those years – and sometimes couples cannot recover. However, many do and just taking the step to speak to someone can make all the difference in the world.
In therapy, you have a safe place. A place where both people can initially vent and then learn how to discuss and share their frustrations and issues that have plagued the couple for a long time. Therapy provides the safety and the objective viewpoint of a trained therapist, to help them start to take a different path, gain trust, and begin to feel that maybe, just maybe, they are on to something better and healthier.
My approach to helping couples begins with a family of origin – their first family history. We discuss their attachment and communication style. I also administer the Prepare/Enrich Assessment to help couples gain a better understanding of not just their issues – but their strengths – the strengths in their relationship that will get them through.
A two-path approach to therapy.
- I help couples improve their communication by providing skills and strategies.
- I help couples learn how to reconnect – emotionally, physically, mentally – in a way that makes you feel safe while building a stronger foundation of trust with one another. Couples learn how to change the process or ‘dance’ they have both created to one that is healthier.
I have been called a ‘straight shooter’, honest, open, and authentic. I use Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT), an active, collaborative, and skills-based modality and Solution Focused Therapy (SFT), an approach that will help you focus on your preferred future by setting small, achievable goals.
SFT asks the Miracle Question (LOVE it!) which get YOU thinking about what you really want your life to look like, how you would like it to be. Using SFT will moves you from being problem-focused to solution-focused. It works! Its thought provoking, creates insight, tangible, and makes people feel successful in ways they never imagined! You will experience a sense of accomplishment and feel productive.
I work with couples who are unmarried/coupled up, gay, and straight. We address all the thorny issues — strife, infidelity (and how to recover and thrive), addictions (pornography, alcohol, drugs, eating, shopping), and sexual intimacy.
Together, we do just that.
Frequently Asked Questions
How are sessions structured?
How do I get started?
I also offer a free 20-minute consultation. During the consultation, we briefly discuss your current issues to help ensure that I am the most appropriate person to help you.